This crazy thing called life

Hello All. I have many friends that blog and I love to read them. It really is an awesome way to stay connected when you can't always be together. With  us being in Fort Worth and the rest of our family being scattered over this great state of Texas, I figured why not start a blog so they can stay up to date with our crazy life and our little girl who seems to grow right before our eyes.


Right now there are so many things going on, it's hard to even begin. One reason I have decided to blog is I am looking for a way to express all of these different emotions I am experiencing right now after the sudden loss of my father. Grief is a very crazy thing. If you give in, I can see how it can take over. I have been thrown into a world where I feel like emotionally, I am all over the map. I am different from one day to the next. I am sad, angry, confused, scared, broken hearted, lost, hopeless and the list can go on and on. I sit here and just think why?why?why? Who knows, only one person knows that answer, someone I am striving to get to know better, my savior Jesus Christ. John and I over the last year have started to become very active in our faith. I now wonder if the Lord lead us at this specific time to help prepare us for what was to come. I have met so many amazing people at our church and they have been the biggest blessing over the last six weeks. Over the last six months one verse has kept coming up over and over to me and it is " I will never leave you nor forsake you". Is someone trying to tell me something? I believe so. I was and am very angry at the Lord for what has happened. In the first few weeks I shut down. I could not pray. However, I have opened my heart and mind back up and have started reading in the bible, looking for something. I came across another verse, not one that you would think would stick out to you so much in the midst of all this grief, but for me it did. I can't even tell you how I came across it. It is 1 Thessalonians 5:18 "Give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus". I will admit when I first read it, I thought WHAT? REALLY? How can I ever give thanks for this and  I thought about it and thought about it. I can be thankful! I am thankful that the Lord placed me in my father's life. I am thankful that he was my father and am thankful to have known such an amazing person. He is one of the brightest lights in my life and will continue to be always....